Hello, dear one!
Do you sometimes still feel lonely while surrounded by families, friends, or associates?
If your answer is YES, you’re not alone!
According to a Meta-Gallup Survey in 2023, nearly 1 in 4 adults across the world have reported feeling very lonely.
What’s more alarming? The survey found the rates of loneliness were highest in young adults, ages between 19 and 29.
To worsen the situation, the International Monetary Fund predicted a 40% job replacement by the rise of artificial intelligence (AI). This will further reduce creative problem-solving and team-building human contacts.
Your ability to stand firmly alone will be an asset for life!
Recently at a local restaurant dining with my family, I noticed a young woman starring her phone and occasionally fiddling the menu without placing orders.
When I ran into her in the bathroom, I asked her, “Are you expecting a friend?”
She bluntly replied, “He stood me up.”
“What are you going to do now?” I asked.
She surprised me when she said, “My mom told me that I’m worthy of a good meal at all times, so I’m going to treat myself to a delicious and satisfying dinner.”
And she did!
My husband and I surprised her by paying for her meal before we left the restaurant.
She threw me a tight hug, and I whispered in her ears, “His no-show was God’s protection. Get comfortable eating alone. Get comfortable being alone.”
After 20 years, I’m finally understanding what Maya Angelou meant when she said,
“You only are free when you realize you belong no place-you belong every place-no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”
Loneliness comes from a deep-seated feeling of fear, loss, and lack.
I was so lonely that I had to fill my emptiness with vacations to escape from family conflict, a BMW to validate my success, and hanging out with lonely friends who mirrored my confusion.
Fortunately, I realized how lonely I felt and decided to seek help.
The first thing I did was to dig the root cause of my loneliness, which took lots of courage and tears to admit that I never felt good enough inside.
I worked hard NOT on myself, but to disguise my underlying loneliness by taking extra work, obtaining a higher degree, or pursuing the next level of material obtainment. There was no end to fill the void in my heart.
My mentor raised my awareness when he said,
“Those who know they are whole make no demands.”
At the time I demanded a lot, which was a measure and reflection of my neediness.
For about ten years, I learned to be alone comfortably, as a life skill. I sat alone, decided alone, traveled alone, ate alone, and attended workshops alone.
Above all, thinking alone has been the most difficult and rewarding for me. It clarified the core values of my being, which empowered me through every life-changing decision.
When you don’t need anyone or anything to make you feel whole because you’re already full inside, nothing or no one will have any power over you.
While rejected by your loved ones because you choose to walk on a narrow path that’s against the majority’s current, you still love and honor yourself. You’re FREE.
Life is a bank account.
Loneliness will cause people to debit their accounts with the fillers of people, decisions, and actions that encourage them to settle for less than they deserve.
When the young lady in the restaurant chose to enjoy a meal alone, regardless of what she anticipated, she was learning the skill of solitude.
Once she’s mastered the skill of being alone, she’ll attract people who serve and grow her, make decisions to credit her account and carry out actions to thrive no matter how tumultuous the external world plays out.
Social apps like TalkSpace, WhatsApp, or HearMe are merely external things for temporary relief and will not eradicate your loneliness.
The only way out of loneliness is to go within.
The future belongs to the most powerful ones who can think on their own and stand firmly alone as pastor Eston Williams stated,
“At the end of the day, I’d rather be excluded for who I include that included for who I exclude.”
That’s the secret to drawing the highest and best in your life, in solitude.