Story 8:
I was born during the Chinese Cultural Revolution in the late 60s.
As a baby, my parents were both sent to separate concentration camps. But my father stayed closer to me, visited me at boarding schools, and took me to visit my mother under authority.
In the 70s, China suffered severe material and food scarcity. My father often borrowed money from neighbors to buy food and paid it back after receiving the next paycheck.
One day, I saw the most precious doll in the window of a department store in Shanghai. My eyes lit up, and I declared to my father, “I’d die just to play with her.”
My father, imbued with love for his little girl, bought me that doll.
I talked to the doll, played with her, made clothes for her, and slept with her every night.
Things took a traumatic turn when we visited Mother at her camp in the countryside.
Mother was outraged! How could my father be so irresponsible with our shoestring budget? Our priority was to survive with food, not a doll.
Mother had every right to be angry.
For the following days, they fought over the doll. The word “money” came up repeatedly and “not having enough money” was the theme in each heated debate.
I ran into the corn fields, wandering and crying inconsolably.
I hated myself. I hated the doll. I was the cause of my parents’ fights.
Lastly, I hated money!
Here I said it: At age six, I hated money!!!
After I returned home to Shanghai, I never touched that doll again.
I didn’t realize that I had planted a seed of money resentment in my subconscious mind. It germinated into money fear like a big tree in front of me.
Throughout my twenties and mostly thirties, I lived paycheck to paycheck. When I finally received a bonus from work or a cash gift for my birthdays, I would easily drain it with immediate home or auto repairs.
I earnestly wanted more money to ease my life, but subconsciously the fear and resentment of money controlled my spending thoughts, behaviors, and patterns.
I lived in conflict and resistance. I worked hard to earn a living, but simultaneously, I also worked hard to sabotage the money I received. What a vicious money cycle!
Lesson:
How you feel about money inside mirrors your financial reality outside.
As I wrote in earlier lessons, your subconscious mind is a master to your conscious mind. Your life today is a sum reflection of your subconscious mind.
More than 90% of what you do daily is governed by the subconscious mind. It’s the subconscious mind that reveals your wealth or lack of it.
If the subconscious mind doesn’t like money, no matter how consciously you welcome it, the flow of money will be blocked.
One way to impress your subconscious mind with money is to be aware of your feelings toward it. Your awareness is the key.
What are you feeling with money now, loving it or hating it?
If you want money on one hand, but on the other hand, you secretly resent it, whichever the stronger emotion will win the battle and drop to your subconscious mind.
In my case, I was unaware that my feeling of money resentment was far greater than my appreciation. The negative feeling of money dominated my subconscious mind, which carried out the evidence of money lack.
Money and I were always in a relationship. Since my attitude toward money was hostile, what could I expect from it? Money repelled from me!
That is why Jesus taught us that no one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other (Matthew 6:24).
If you love and hate money equally at once, picture yourself sitting in a car going somewhere.
You put one foot on the gas pedal, and the other foot on the break. Can you go far? You’re mostly stuck!
If you’re receiving money regularly, but the money seems going out as quickly as it comes in, you’re in an unconscious state of money conflict and resistance.
Money is a spiritual energy. As you raise money awareness, you’ll notice the riches in life are at every corner, a painted sunset in the sky, a happy giggle from a baby, and a helping hand from a stranger.
Think of your mind as an ocean, you can fetch water with a cup, a bucket, or a truckload. The supply is infinite, and so is money.
When I understood the universal law of correspondence, I began experiencing a surplus after paying bills.
The law of correspondence simply states that your outer reality at the moment is a mirror of your inner world (You may apply it to your health and relationships).
At the time, I made condemning remarks like, “Oh, I’m just a money processor. As soon as the paycheck comes in, it goes out of the door.” I expected not to have extra money left after monthly obligations.
Guess what? The universe delivered what I uttered!
To fatten my account, I had to build my money muscle from inside, by feeling grateful and happy with what I had and turning all experiences into blessings.
I gave thanks for whatever I received, including bills, negative comments, and disappointments. I blessed everything and everyone. I declared that as a child of God, I always had plenty to spare and share.
As my inner world became more and more abundant, more money and opportunities appeared in my life.
The more I appreciated money, the more money blessed me.
If you want more abundance of money flowing into your life, begin to love and bless the money you have. Give thanks for the money you have every time you see it, use it, and receive it.
Instead of cursing the bills, thank them. Feel proud that the universe entrusts you to pay your bills so that the companies, like water, power, and garbage, can stay open for your daily comfort.
Regard money as your congenial friend and cherish your friendship.
The universe has infinite wealth.
Now, open the money door with affirmations:
I AM a best friend to money.
I AM having fun increasing wealth.
I AM easily prospering everywhere I go.
Let the money truth be engraved in your heart.
Feeling good about money is MONEY.