Hello, dear one!
When you don’t get what you want, how do you perceive it, as a failure or a victory? Your attitude towards what’s in front of you guides your next action, and your next action shapes your character and determines your final destiny.
In the word “believe”, there is a “lie” in the middle. What if what you believed, the mistake, the loss, or the failure, was just a lie? What if the mistake was a gift, the loss was a gain, and the failure was a victory?
I’ve been fascinated with the Bible story of David and Abigail (1 Samuel 25) because Abigail invoked my desire to reexamine my beliefs on success.
Abigail was married to Nabal, a fool in his most exaggerated expression.
For years, David and his troop camped in the wilderness and protected Nabel’s men and flocks.
One servant described his experience, “They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were there out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day, they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them…”
At harvest time, David courteously asked Nabal to include his men in the celebration. Not only Nabel failed to show gratitude for David’s men, but he also despised David and ignored him.
Induced with anger, David ordered his men to put on the swords, “Let’s wipe them all out!”
It was Abigail, with her wisdom and effective communication, stopped shielding blood from both sides and saved everyone’s life.
Living with the fool for years, Abigail mastered the skill to fend for her life. As a naive and nebulous young woman, she was arranged to marry Nabal. The torment she had endured from the fool served as clarity for what she desired in a husband.
Her pain became a blessing as she set and elevated her standards in a relationship.
She generously fed David’s men. David was so touched by her humility and articulation, he spared every life in Nabal’s house, and in turn, saved the lives of his on men.
But the brilliance of Abigail was beyond just begging for her life. She captured the opportunity and boldly asked David, “Please remember me.”
And David did!
After winning battles and the passing of Nabal, David sent his servant to invite Abigail to join him. Abigail didn’t waste a minute and dived in for a new future; she quickly got on the donkey and went to meet David.
When she became King David’s wife, Abigail was ready to receive what belonged to her in a husband: Courage, wisdom, honor, generosity, and victorious visions.
With one decision, Abigail turned a transactional opportunity with David into a transformational destiny, from marrying a fool to becoming a queen.
Was Abigail a failure wasting her previous youth years with an atrocious husband who almost got her killed?
Think again! She was in the right season to learn what Nabal represented. In her suffering, she clarified the qualities she wanted in a husband that would best serve her.
Looking at Abigail from the common lenses, the previously arduous and confusing years seemed to be nothing more than a waste and a defeat.
However, from a spiritual point of view, those were growing years to simmer the flavor of self-actualization and self-evolution.
There was no loss, just lessons for a season.
In Abigail’s case, she graduated from her old season into a new life.
The late self-development master Earl Nightingale attributed the key factor to transcend any situation:
“A great attitude is not a result of success; success is the result of a great attitude.”
When you don’t get what you want, maybe it’s your purpose to modify your attitude so that you’re more resilient and flexible for any weather ahead. The setback could be a setup.
Anytime you feel defeated, pull out your hand and look at it. It has two sides to it.
If you can change the way you look at things with a different attitude, you may draw a different conclusion for the same event.
Remember the “lie” in the word “believe”? What if a failure is meant for a victory?