Hello, dear one!
Like many, you may also desire a simple, happy, and liberated life, but whom have you chosen to expedite the manifestation?
For this Mother’s Day, let me share a rich lesson I learned from an extraordinary woman who transmuted her life from an intentional choice.
Years ago when I worked as a field nurse, I used to stop by the office after all my visits and pick up the supplies for the next day.
After office hours, I often ran into a cheerful cleaning lady, Vicky. We would casually chat about the daily trivia, until one day…
When I walked into the office, Vicky was passionately persuading, almost commanding our physical therapist not to hire a divorce attorney. Her comment instigated my curiosity.
“Don’t waste money on attorneys; they’ll never work for you!” She exclaimed.
Of course, the therapist still hired an attorney and fought the divorce to the bitter end.
But what did Vicky know about divorce attorneys? She hardly graduated from middle school, and both of her sons were born out of wedlock. I acted out on my egotistic judgment, but her reply humbled me and shrank my self-boosting head:
“All lawyers must pass a state BAR test. Do you know what BAR stands for? British Accreditation Registrar. That means the attorneys work for the British foreigners and don’t work for you, the nobody American.”
She lowered her tone with conviction.
As a college-educated nurse, I knew nothing about this. I asked Vicky, “How do you know so much about it that I’ve never heard of?”
Vicky’s candor shot down my big ego instantly,
“You people all have college degrees but stopped learning after college. All you do is push your children to study, whether it’s relevant to their life or not.”
But I grew up in the ghetto of Chicago; I was on my own when I was eleven. If I wasn’t smart enough to stay ahead with the right people, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
Here Vicky revealed the secret of her transformation from a teen single mother with two small boys to becoming a homeowner of two properties:
She had intentionally chosen to hang out and learn from wiser people, in all areas.
Before the 2020 lockdown, there were free wealth-building half-day seminars in many cities nearby. Guess what? Vicky never missed one opportunity.
For years, she had a dream to own a home and raise her two boys in it. After fortifying herself with home-buying knowledge, her opportunity arrived.
She was approved for a three percent downpayment with an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) mortgage loan, and all she needed was to come up with the downpayment and the standard closing cost.
Through one of the seminars she attended, she found out a particular city was offering a $5,000 closing cost to assist low-income and first-time home buyers. She jumped on it, and quickly bought a two-bedroom bungalow.
She saw wealth potential in the filthy green carpet, outdated kitchen and bathroom, cracked windows, jungle yards, and missing fences.
She and the two boys worked on the house every weekend until she was able to rent out one room and keep the other room for her family.
Her little extra money from renting out a room became substantial savings over the years. As she diligently improved the property, the real estate market climbed in value. She took the equity in her home and purchased a duet of one-bedroom each.
This time, after she rented out the duet, she took back the rented room and gave it to her teen boys. She continued to work tirelessly on the home, as she always said, “I don’t just sleep there. I set a standard for my home so that my boys can respect it.”
If you admire Vicky’s real estate investment with her lowly background, wait until you learn about her wisdom in guiding her two boys into a rich life.
Everything is interconnected. When Vicky sought wealth building, she also intentionally met people who were successful in raising children.
The area she lived in was not free of gangs and drug users. Vicky took extra work shifts and insisted both boys complete black belts in martial arts.
She didn’t agree with the public school that promoted naiveness and harmlessness, which only weakened a boy’s ability to face bullies. She said, “If you’re naive, you’re stupid and weak. If you’re powerful and have self-control, you’re smart and strong.”
Martial arts taught her boys to be assertive, conscientious, and powerful with self-control. Both boys were self-confident because they learned to stand firmly in their jurisdiction, think quickly, and speak up or defend themselves effectively in need.
Self-confidence coincided with self-respect. They both resisted the impulse to date girls at an early age. Instead, they focused on self-development and financial freedom.
Vicky warned them not to waste their time and life on unworthy companions. Choose smart girls who would grow and raise their potential. The right girls would show up only when the boys were self-sufficient enough.
She devoted herself to raising the boys and building up herself; she intentionally chose not to complicate her boys’ life with male dates while they were growing up.
Vicky’s grit to stay alone reminded me of a great quote that I live by and teach my teen boy:
“At the end of the day, I’d rather be excluded for who I include than included for who I exclude.”
I left the company many years ago and have lost touch with Vicky.
I didn’t understand education until I met people like Vicky, always learning, forward-moving, and courageously leaving the past behind. It humbled me that she was far more educated, without a high-school degree.
Her intentional choice of being in the right company has greatly influenced my personal growth. I consider myself a rich person to have met Vicky, as she inspired me to learn, grow, and count each day as a separate day for my success.
As for her boys, they must feel super rich to have a mother who sacrificed herself to teach them hard-working, right thinking, and self-respect.
We often think in terms of material things when we hear the word, RICH. Here is another RICH perspective:
“Rich is not how much you have, or where you’re going, or what you are. Rich is who you have beside you.”
What’s your RICH choice today?