Hello, dear one!
Have you ever reflected on and analyzed your major decisions? Did you make them out in inspiration or fear? What were the results from either inspiration or fear?
Recently when I shopped at a local grocery store, I ran into a young lady who was stocking canned sardines. She grew up in my neighborhood, and I last saw her before she moved to a university in Southern California.
“Your spring break sure is early this year,” I couldn’t hide my surprise.
“No, I quit.” She quickly answered with a big smile and shared her riveting story.
Like most high school graduates, she had planned for college to embark upon a career that would ensure her success as an adult. She majored in graphic design.
However, the timing couldn’t have been the worst. As soon as she began her first semester in the fall of 2020, she was sent home because of the mandatory lockdown.
While her college professors were paid and taught zoom classes in pajama pants, she was robbed of in-person campus life and suffered studying alone. And the worst of all, her parents were still paying for her dorm room on campus!
Her frustration led her to question the necessity of her college degree:
Is it fair for my parents to pay expensive tuition and dorm room while I’m living at home and learning on my own every day? What are the job opportunities for a graphic designer? Do I need a degree in graphic design?
Little did she expect that her research would guide her to a different path.
She tasted the bitterness of reality for her college dream, “It was initially shocking and hard for me to swallow.”
She discovered that when companies hire graphic designers, they don’t care about the degrees, including one from Stanford. They only care about how good the work is.
When they scan a resume as a graphic design application, they’ll only look for a portfolio with samples from previous work. A degree offers no value to a project’s success, which is mostly measured by a monetary result.
She also found out that many graphic designers are self-employed and work as freelancers. To stay competitive in the market, she must deliver an outstanding performance that requires hands-on experience, not class theories.
After she eliminated the necessity for her degree, her parents were so disappointed in her decision and persuaded her to continue her college study.
She tried for the entire year of 2021. The more she stayed in the program, the more she felt restless and resentful of both her parents and herself. She intuitively knew that she was doing the opposite of what she should work on, which was to accumulate experience.
She felt like a split person fighting internally. One part of her loved her parents so much that she wanted them to attend her college graduation. She was also afraid of making the wrong decision and ended up with nothing, not even a college degree.
However, the other self told her that it made no sense to waste her time and her parents’ financial resources on a useless college degree. She could do better with online classes that would yield a much better return on investment.
At the end of 2021, she overcame the fear of losing a degree and letting down her parents. Her loving self won the battle. After all, this is her life!
Her parents were initially reluctant but eventually supported her decision.
She found her bliss in learning and completing an eight-month online graphic design program. She’s now working at the grocery store full-time and designing graphics as a freelancer.
She couldn’t hide her joy, “I’m renting a room from my parents and not wasting their money; they get to remodel the house and vacation more.
Most of my friends have more than $20,000 in student loans, but I’ve saved almost $20,000. This could never have happened if I would continue to stay in college.”
Cheers to her GRIT to stick to herself! If she had chosen to follow the crowd, she would live in the crowd. But now, she’ll at least walk on a path that belongs to her.
Don’t we all have two selves simultaneously? Even Napoleon Hill did.
After the success of his book, Think and Grow Rich, Hill failed multiple businesses and two marriages. He pondered, “Why can’t I apply the principles in my book and sustain my success?”
After contemplating his question for years, he wrote his discoveries in another book, Outwitting The Devil.
He concluded that we each have two selves. The devil self will pull us back to fear, lack, and self-doubt, but the loving self will move us forward with hope and faith.
It’s natural to experience the two selves while making a life-changing decision, and whichever we choose, the devil self or the loving self will significantly impact the trajectory of our paths.
I guess that was why Rumi wrote this to remind us:
“It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”
If you need to make a decision today, which self do you think will decide for you?